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FAQ's
Unfortunately
there are women (and men) and suspicious organizations who are trying to get money from you.
However, these people are a minority in compare to the total offer of dating agencies and all other related
RW web sites. But especially in the beginning of your contact, be careful! I could give you thousands of
examples how to check if everything is ok, but I suggest to visit and
read our
Dating
Scams-page' and the 'tips' we published there.
If you are scammed then always report this. The
authorities can only do official things when dating scams are officially
reported. You can report this via this page:
report scam
And do not forget the number one Anti Scam Rule:
Never send money to a, for you personal unknown, female
member, listed in any Agency or individual, if she is asking for it. Report
any suspicious cases related to this rule.
This question is one of the most frequent questions men are
asking us.
The answer for most (Western) countries is simple: 'NO'
Although this is not a legal statement, you will find on many
official Government sites the simple rules to receive a visa
to enter a western country. (also visit our
Russian Visa chapter)
For example, to enter the US as a single young Russian woman
just to visit you, she only can (try) do this using a K1-fiancee visa. To
obtain a (US/Canadian) tourist visa is in principal impossible for her.
However, many Russian women tell their western 'friend' that
they know a local travel agency who can help her to obtain a
visa for a few hundred of dollars. Never believe this,
because there are no such things as magic visa's. If you
hear something like this, then you probably are involved in
an attempt to scam you. (Please read also my article about "
magic visas for
Russian brides") Fiancée and tourist visa's only can
be obtained according to the (published) rules of the specific
Embassy. And if some travel agencies indeed can arrange
visa's without dealing with the strict rules, they are
probably breaking the law and if they finally find out, your
Russian girlfriend could be banned for ever for any visa.
So, don't take any risk by using suspicious agencies and
confirm yourself that they indeed are working according to
your Embassy rules and procedures.
Always ask the latest visa news, rules and procedures at
your Embassy located in Russia. They are the only one who can legally
advise you about visa for your Russian girlfriend. visit our
Russian Visa chapter for
more information.
Safe
places to find your Russian women are agencies who use strict rules and
policies to publish a woman's profile. Always read or ask the specific
agency how they 'check' their Russian women before publishing them. It
is also important to do some checking of the agency itself. It is necessary
that a real honest agency has published their normal postal address,
including real contact email addresses and phone numbers. Also check
their domain-name using the WHOIS database and see which address is
published (owner) to this domain-name Also read their 'about us' page to
read more about an agency. If you have any questions to convince
yourself a specific agency is reliable, then always start asking your
questions to this agency before ordering any of their offered services,
for example you can ask them what their anti-scam policy is.
It is unnecessary to say that we only work with serious and reliable
agencies.
My advice is to use only agencies without recurring payment services.
There are many agencies who offer their women for 'free', but to
correspond with them you have to use their paid email
forward/translation service and they never will give you the personal
contact information of these women. If you don't mind that, then be my
guest, it's your money, but for many reasons a waist of money.
The usual unsafe places are the place-your-ad-for-free
places or free dating sites like MSN-dating (Microsoft® has
nothing to do with this, every person is responsible for his
own posting and acting using this type of free service) or equivalent
free dating sites. These free dating sites never will (read:
"are able to") check
their visitors, so anyone can post their profile anonymous
at own risk. From the 100% dating scam reports I receive,
99% are coming from these post-free dating sites and from
this 80% it was almost the 'woman' who took the initiative
to write the man first. And believe me or not, most of these
'women' are not even women, but just men who pretend they
are women and use photos from unknown women or even existing
Russian models.
So be careful when using free dating services, 'free' in
this case does not mean 'cheap'. If you really are serious
to find a Russian partner for marriage, then it will always
cost you money, so don't try to safe money in a wrong way.
This
is the most important issue when trying to find a woman in this crazy 'cyber
space'. Your
first letter will give your chosen woman her first impression of what
kind of man you are. This letter will make her decide if she wants to
respond to you or not. So here are some of our tips.
Write
about your personal situation:
-
your
personal information (age, kids etc.)
-
about
your work (not too comprehensive in the first letter)
-
where
you live (country, city, house, apartment, etc)
-
about
your hobbies
-
what
you like but also what you dislike
-
detailed
description of yourself (character, qualities)
-
and
above all:
-
the
reason why you are writing 'her' (and not only because she has a
nice face) and also try to describe the kind of woman you are
looking for. Don't give her the impression that she is number
20 of your 'women's list'.
-
Let
translate this letter in Russian. Even when her profile said that
her English is good or better, it is highly recommended to
translate your introduction letter. You will be way ahead of those
who are only using English and you will be certain that she indeed
have understand your comprehensive introduction letter.
Don't
forget to send (attach) some clear pictures (2 or 3) of you, it's always
nice to see a 'face' when reading about a person. Especially women
can 'read' a man's face more than you and I ever will understand.
Include at least 2 good quality photo's. One close up, smile at the
"little bird" and dress yourself properly. The second one
must be as close as possible but with the full length of your body,
also of course dressed in a proper way.
After
you finish your first letter, let one of your best friends or members of your family
read it and ask if they recognize 'you' in this letter.
Don't
exaggerate, just be yourself, never write things to impress the woman in
a way you can never accomplish.
If the woman did not respond to your letter: Send another copy of
the letter. If she still does not answer, send a letter from a
different email account to make sure your address is not blocked by
the woman's server (it happens!). It is confirmed that email
messages often disappear, especially when sent to or from free
Russian servers such as Mail.ru, Rambler.ru, Inbox.ru etc. Always
have an alternative way of contacting the woman, such as phone or a
different email address, in case there is a problem with her main
email account. This is the biggest problem in correspondence between
men and women: they both say, I received a few letters from this
woman/this guy, then he/she disappeared without a notice. The reason
is most likely to be email-related. Do not wait forever for a woman
to answer. Send her another letter and ask why she does not respond.
If she decided to give up on you, such insistence can even make her
change her mind!
Read also our previous FAQ about how to write your first
letter. If you have send her a letter with 3 lines, "Hello,
how are you, I like your picture, please write back" (or
something similar), then you will be certain that no one will
respond you.
First
of all, don't wait too long before meeting her in person. Too long writing or
phoning each other could give both of you a wrong image about the
persons you both are in 'real life'. Compare this effect by reading a
book and after reading, watch the movie about this book, you will agree
that there will be a big difference between the 'image' you created and
the 'image' they present in the movie.
Suggest
her to visit each other in her country. Just for the following reasons:
-
For
you it's much easier to get a visa (within 2 weeks). For her it can
take sometimes days of traveling to visit the nearest Embassy or
Consulate of your country. And forget the possibility the get a US
tourist visa for your Russian girlfriend, she never will get this.
-
For
the first meeting she will feel more comfortable in her own
environment.
-
She
will be proud to show you her country and introduce you to her
family.
-
For
most western countries it is not possible for her to receive a
(tourist) visa to travel to you
-
You
also can choose to meet each other in a visa friendly country or to
visit each other in one of the main cities of her country like Moscow,
St. Petersburg, Kiev, or Almaty. -
Showing
to her that you are interesting in her and her culture will give her
the impression that you are really serious in meeting her. Never
forget, the first meeting is not like meeting each other in some
restaurant or coffee shop.
The
European, US and other official immigration rules and procedures can differ from each other,
but below is a list of documents your fiancée at
least needs to marry you (or enter your country) in your country:
Note: Don't use this as legal
information, always use formal and official legal sources like the
official website of your Embassy/Consulate in Russia. The below
information has to be used as un-official information.
-
Birth
certificate.
-
Proof
of authenticity of her birth certificate.
-
Proof
of being unmarried (or never married before).
-
or
-
Official
divorcement documents.
-
Official
guardianship documents concerning her children if the biological
father is known on the birth certificate of her children.
-
Birth
certificate of any children.
-
Proof
of authenticity of her children(s) birth certificate(s).
-
Certificate
of residence.
-
Proof
of authenticity of certificate of residence.
-
Russian
passport (with the stamp of her living place, "propiska")
-
Official
translation (into your language) of all official documents.
-
A
visa to enter your country
This
is one of the most frequently asked question. My answer is yes, but to
make yourself more comfortable about my answer, also read our
Dating-scam
page. In any kind of 'business" there are some organizations or
individuals who are trying to fraud you. So please always be careful
before you start to transport money to some woman or Agency or other
related organization who is 'willing' to help you in finding your woman
of your dreams. Reading my
Dating-scam
chapter can give you a lot of information which you can use by
yourself.
The
main reason that there are so many Russian (and from other CIS-countries) women available, in
comparison with the women of our own
country, is often a matter of supply and demand. But the main reason that Russian
women are seeking men in another country is for very sad- but based on unfortunately
real statistic facts. For example the Russian male life expectancy, in
years, is only 59.9 and for women, in years, 74.8. Especially for women over
35 years old, it's very difficult to find a (healthy) man in her own
country. You can find many resources on the web about these Russian
statistic population facts. The future for Russian women, to live long and
happy with their Russian men is not very promising. Alcohol, serious decease's
and the large unemployment problems for Russian men are the main reason for
this problem.
Another
statistical fact is that the average Russian woman marries 2.2 times in
her lifetime; the average Russian man marries 3.5 times in a lifetime. Many
Russian women will stay single. Also the young Russian women know these
facts and starts early to find their future with foreign men.
Perhaps
now you understand a little bit why Russian women (already starting in
their early years) are seeking men in other (western) countries.
Are Russian women looking for
older men?
Can I contact a woman who is 20 years younger than me?
These questions are number 2
on the general list of "Most frequently asked questions"
I
interviewed 5 different kind of Russian women from
different country- or city origin, like Russia, Kazakhstan and
Ukraine. My answers and explanations are coming directly from them
including my personal opinion.
In
general Russian women prefer to have a man of their own age or within reasonable
age difference. Just like in other countries. There is no special reason that the age difference between
Russian couples and couples from other countries are different from each other.
Of course there are always exceptions, but those exceptions are certainly not
a typical wish of a Russian woman. Like we explained in our previous FAQ (are
these women real).
But why can you
read often in these women ad's
(presented through Dating agencies) a maximum preferable age with
differences of sometimes 10, 15 and even 20 years?
There
are many reasons for this, one of the reason you can read in our FAQ
"Are
These Women Real?" or visit our mini
E-book
about scams,
concerning available men in their own country. Other reasons are that
women (especially those who already have passed their 30th's) prefer to
have an older man (but not too old) just because they think that this
category of men are really serious in trying to find a new relationship
with a Russian woman. Also because of the fact that this age-category
men probably have passed their "wild years". In other words they
consider those men as more mature and think they have more
consciousness of their responsibilities. Those facts gives the woman
more self confidence in finding the right man for her.
And another reason is that Russian women, who
already have
passed their 30th's or 35th's, hardly can find a (single/free) man in Russia and
know they will have more success with men from other countries. But of course there are also
women who think they can increase their chances (in finding a man) by
being not so critical about age. But please don't think that young women of 24
years old are desperately seeking for men over their 40th's or 50th's.
I
admit it would look very interesting for an over 45th's man to have a
Britney Spears look-alike beside him, but do you really think this
relationship will last forever?
Please ask yourself if you are looking for a new wife or daughter?
The
most important issue for Russian women, who are seeking men, is; if the spiritual,
intellectual and emotional qualities of the man are at the same level of
the woman and
the man has a nice character, is in good shape, good health and has a
regular job, age will not be a critical success factor.
For
your information, my age difference with my husband is 9 years.
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