Information & Advice -> Your first meeting
How to prepare your First Meeting with your Russian woman
Single young Russian women will never get a (tourist)
visa to visit you in the US and Canada and most western countries. Therefore, you must meet her first, preferable in her country.
When
you both decide to meet each other, be sure that this will be the most
impressive (and hopefully the most romantic) moment in your and her life
during developing your new relationship. Your first meeting
must have one goal: impress her and show her that you are
the 'right man' for her. Don't be afraid to do this alone, if
there is a 'click' she
will try to do the same.
Please read
the topics below:
It will be difficult, and for some countries impossible, to
let her come to your country first
There is one item I must stress; Single young Russian
women will never get a visa for at least the US and Canada, just
to visit you as your girlfriend! No matter what other people say, or so-called
magic tourist agencies in Russia, it is not possible. And if you
are not convinced, contact the US Embassy (in her country) and they will
tell you the same. Some Russian women say they can have their
first meeting with you in the US, just forget it, they are
scams, or they get scammed by local doubtful travel agencies
who tell them the opposite. Read my article:
Magic Visa's.
There are only a few exceptions
on this visa-rule, but in general they will not count for your
girlfriend. For the US Embassy,
every young looking single Russian women is a potential
suspect who has the intention to never leave the US again.
Important information for
US men:
Because of the new
USA marriage broker law it is
extremely important that both of you keep all the evidence that
you have been in Russia and have met your future Fiancée. Keep
tickets, and bills (including theatre and restaurant bills, just
anything). Make photo's from each other. Just keep everything that
can proof that you both have a relationship. She and you has to
show this evidence during the request (and interviews) for a K1
Fiancée visa.
Remember that it is difficult for Russian women to
travel to a western country. Not only for financial
reasons but for practical (visa) reasons too. For most single Russian
women it is too expensive to buy an Airline ticket including other
costs that come with such an arrangement.
Traveling to the US or Canada (and other western countries) on a
tourist or private visa is almost impossible, she better won't
even try it because you or she could get involved in
some
visa scam. Traveling on a tourist or private visa to some
West-European countries (like Holland, Belgium, Germany) can be possible.
But you both have to
arrange a lot and need to start a complex procedure
that can take a longtime before she can get approval to
enter your country.
Therefore I will not discuss this further in this chapter.
As an alternative, you can suggest to meet each other in a for
her visa-friendly country, like Turkey, Egypt, Cyprus, Israel or
other East European countries. Or she
can book an arranged package vacation to -for example- Spain and
meet each other there. But she will probably not have enough money
to pay for all this.
Still my strong advice is (based on many personal
experiences), that your first meeting should be in her country. To
make it more comfortable for her to meet her in a for her 'safe'
environment and to proof the (US)
immigration authorities (necessary for the K1-Fiancee visa) that
you have indeed a serious relationship.
By the way, this first visit to Russia will be an
unforgettable experience for you. And it is not difficult or too
expensive for you to travel to Russia (for Ukraine you don't need
a visa).
And when you meet her in her own country you also will have the
opportunity to meet her family and friends.
For more information about documents, visit our
Visa
& Immigration chapter.
It depends how big her (first-grade) family is, but here is my suggestion and
what most men I know did:
-
Bring flowers (Russian women love flowers!). No matter from how far
you have to travel. You will find a way to keep them fresh during your
travel time. Use a plastic bag with a wet piece of small towel and give it
to the Cabin Attendant and ask her to give it safe place during your flight.
Or if you
travel to two or more transfer airports, buy these flowers at the last
transfer airport, every airport in Europe has a flower shop.
-
Take something like a (not too strong) perfume or Eau-de-toilette as a welcome present.
-
Also buy a piece of jewel (necklace is always good) for a romantic moment during a suitable
stadium of your visit (if no romance will arise, you always can take it back home).
-
And last but not least, take also some little presents
for her parents, kids, brothers and sisters (if there are any). It is not necessary to
buy something 'expensive' it is just the gesture that counts. Some
chocolate, or a souvenir from your country, a nice T-shirt for her child(ren), younger
brother, or sister. But do not exaggerate, don't show yourself as the 'rich
guy' from the West.
You and I know that you never have met her in person, so this meeting will be
exciting. You will be probably nervous, insecure and you will constantly
thinking about the first words your will say to her or how your first greeting
will be.
I have two suggestions:
-
Always be yourself and show her the person you really are, like you have written to
her. The way you will greet each other the first time will
just come automatically at that specific moment. You do not need to practice
weeks in front of the mirror in your bathroom and try to 'learn' the words from
your head you will say to her. Because at the moment you will meet her, you will
forget these
words before you know it. Also remember that this specific moment will always be
different then you thought it would be, so do not bother about this too much.
When you are there, do not compare Russia with your own country. Russia is quit different and most
of the Russian people think that all 'Western' people are rich. Comparing to many
Russian people, you are, but not only in a financial way, also becausein western countries things are more organized and modernized. Moscow for
instance is like a western city, you will see many expensive car's like MPV's, SUV's
and Hummers. Luxury cars like Mercedes, Volvo, BMW, Porsche,
Lexus.
Also restaurants (the good ones) can be expensive, even more expensive and
exclusive than in your own country. And a ticket for the Bolsjoi theater can
cost you $100,- a person. But leaving Moscow for about 30/40 miles, the world
changes. Especially when you travel through small villages, time can go
back for 50 years or more.
Don't boast about the things you have
Being 'wealthy' is not a main priority for Russian
people. Having many friends, a cozy family and being healthy and
happy is more important. So do not express yourself or compare
things where 'money' is involved, people could get a wrong
impression from you and you even could insult them. To have your
own car, boat, TV
or microwave is normal for the western culture, but for many Russians
(especially the ones who live outside the main cities) an almost unreachable, luxury. So skip this part during your conversations with
her family and friends, and try not to insult them by making jokes (with the
best intents) of the
general Russian life, when you visit Russia.
Respect her culture
Russia has beautiful art, history and beautiful (ancient) cities. Although they do
not smile a lot (Russians only smile when there is a specific reason to do
that), the people are real nice and kind to you. Especially those you will meet
in person. Remember, your girlfriend will turn into an 'important' person when
she introduces you to her friends and family. And the reaction of all people you
meet will be like they are very happy for her. Always show your respect and
integrity, to all the people you meet. After a few days you will discover the
beautiful part if this country and her inhabitants and I am sure Russia will
create an unforgettable impression for you too!
Open your heart to her country
When my husband travels to the little town where I used to live then he is
exited to meet his Russian friends and family
again. For me, Russia will always be my home-country. For my husband it became
his second-home country and he loves it. He made many Russian friends and I have more contact with my friends, then I had before I left Russia (Internet,
Skype and
Web-cams are magic-tools in this 'small' world). To be honest, I never
'left' Russia, I only moved to another place to 'live'. Traveling from my
current residence to Moscow is even shorter than traveling from Moscow to my
original place of birth where many relatives still live. Even flying from
New York to Moscow is almost as far (in travel time) as flying from Moscow to Irkutsk-Siberia (where I
was born). So what
is distance?, just do not bother about that.
Travel to and in Russia
When you decide to meet her in her country, in this
example Russia, you need to prepare yourself. Important for you to
know is, where she lives (use Google Earth). Is it easy to travel to her city,
what trains are going from main cities like Moscow. And more
important, what is the travel time of these trains, because
trains in Russia have a relative low
speed.
Don't count the miles but the hours to travel.
Use this
source about national flight and train schedules in Russia.
And don't be afraid to ask your girlfriend to help
you with that. Or suggest her to pick you up (offer her to pay for
her trip) from the airport you land, so you can travel together to
the place she lives and will have enough time to know each other.
Meet her first in a big city
What I suggest is to book a hotel in Moscow or St. Petersburg
(depending which city is close to her home) or another
big city and meet each other there. This is the easiest and
fastest way to apply a Visa for you.
Most of the hotels in large Russian cities have visa-support. This
means that they send you an invitation and
reservation-confirmation form by fax or postal (fast) mail. But before
booking a hotel, convince yourself this hotel has indeed
visa-support or it will be a bit more difficult to apply for a
visa. Most hotels in main cities have English translated websites,
E-mail and FAX facilities and English speaking (reservation) staff.
Google keywords like: "hotels [Russia city] and you
will find many English speaking websites.
Visa for Russia
For more detailed visa information, please visit our chapter
Visa & Immigration.
We also have an interesting
Hotel-link in Moscow which has good prices. You can book
through internet or email or phone and ask if
they will send you the 'Invitation' and 'Reservation confirmation'
by fax. They speak good English. This service takes 2 working days and will
cost you about $30 for cheap hotels and is free of charge for
more expensive hotels (check the
Hotel-link for prices).
Airline tickets
Of course you need to buy an Airline ticket too. Just contact your
local airline or travel agent for the latest prices, or browse the
Internet for cheap tickets. It is
difficult to publish these airfares here, because the price today
can change tomorrow. Check a month (or two) ahead is the best method to
know the cheapest airfares. Many airlines have so called 'early
booking' prices or 'last minute' prices.
Never buy your airline ticket before you are certain when to
receive your visa. Most (cheap) airline tickets cannot change the
departure and arrival dates without paying extra. Only expensive airline tickets are 'open' tickets.
Do not take much cash with you, it is not necessary. The main cities (like Moscow, St. Petersburg, Yekaterinburg)
but also smaller cities have
many ATM machines where you can use general Credit- or
Bank-cards (a credit card with a pin code is the best to take with
you).
There are many hotels in Moscow or St. Petersburg. But most of the
hotels you find on internet are expensive. Prices of $200 or
$300 (a night) are 'normal' in these cities. But if you look good, there are
also cheaper ones, like $45 or $65. Don't think these hotels are
very bad or dirty, because they are not. Let your Russian
girlfriend help you with this, she knows the language and can
inquire any information you want to know.
When my husband visited me for the first time, he booked one of
these hotels for $35 per night including breakfast (but that was
in 2000). And this hotel
was good, clean and everything was working. And the hotel was
situated in an easy to reach area in the city (not faraway from
the city center or a Subway station). All these hotels you will
find on this
Hotel-link.
They have visa-support, this means that they can send
you the necessary invitation and reservation form by fax and they
speak (and write) English.
For the cheapest hotels you have to pay a one-time fee for this
Visa support service (about $30). It can also be useful to rent a car (if you are not
afraid!) which can be available on the airport. But
perhaps much better is to rent a car with driver, most of the
tourists choose this option. Although Moscow has a very good
subway system, renting a car (with or without driver) is necessary when you want to visit places outside Moscow. Traveling
by train is a good alternative, but only between cities. The small
local trains are not very reliable related to their timetable. But
the international trains (between big cities) are always running
on time, at least that is my own experience. Like I said before,
international trains are good, a first-class ticket is
(still) not
expensive and comfortable, but the speed is terrible (slow), because of the
fact the rails need a lot of maintenance. For example from Moscow
to Yekaterinburg (by train) is about 940 miles (1500km), by train
this will take about 28 hours.
Renting a car is not cheap too, for latest fares, check the major
car rental companies at the airport.
I know what you are thinking, driving in Moscow? You must be
crazy. Perhaps I am, perhaps not, but my husband is not afraid and
a good driver and yes a little bit crazy too (remember the
main title of my site). Beside that, I am a very good guide and just close
my ears and eyes when he starts to yell to these Russian
'drivers'.
Well I hope that your first meeting was an unforgettable one. Of
course it is not up to me, what you must do after this first meeting.
But in case you both have decided to go on, you can do two things:
-
Make plans to visit her again or plan a vacation in Egypt for a week (at the
romantic Red Sea) and build your relationship stronger.
or
For men living in the US:
-
Start the procedure for getting a K1-Fiancée visa for her (see also:
Visa & Immigration)
For many West European countries:
-
Invite her this time in your country, using a private (invitation) or tourist
visa
Take your time
Of course everything is depending on how your first meeting was. But whatever
you decide, take the time for it. Do not take any rash (like
marriage) decisions when you both are head over heals in love. Try to learn each other better before making any important decisions.
Unfortunately I have seen examples of people who wanted to marry each other
after seeing each other for 2 weeks. I know, time and distance is a
consideration to make such a decision sooner then you would do in a 'normal'
way. But before asking her to marry, ask yourself first; Is she is the woman you want to stay the rest of your life with,
is she indeed your perfect match? Some people need 2 or 4
weeks to make such a decision, others perhaps 4 or 8 months, there is no rule for
this, but be sure you are both convinced to make this major step.
Another next step
Men from the US can apply for a
K1-Fiancée (to be exact: the women has to do this), this can take from 3 to
6 months (if you do it right). And after she arrives in the US, you have 3 months to marry each other. You
also could consider to marry her in Russia,
but still she needs a (K3-spouse) visa to enter the US which is more difficult
to get
then a K1-fiancée visa.
If you decide to plan your second visit in her country;
Use this time
to create an atmosphere to make the final decision and talk as many as possible about the consequences of making this
major step. Especially for her, this is not easy, because it means that she has
to 'leave' her country, family and friends and work. Of course she knew this
could happen when she decided to find a new partner using an online marriage agency.
But at this
specific moment she will be facing the reality and sometimes it can create
doubts, which, by the way, are normal in this situation.
I remember when my husband asked me to marry him, I was very happy, I think the
happiest woman of the world at that moment. But after some time, when I was
preparing my final trip to his country, I started to realize that time had come to leave
my work, my friends and my family, and my home country, and that was a little
bit
scary. But I can say, I never regret this major step I made in my life, not
then, not today!
Give her time too and make her feel comfortable
So, give her time to get used to this idea and talk to her as much as possible about
her future life in your country. And make her comfortable by telling her that
you always will do your best to create possibilities for her to visit her home
country now and then. Remember, a PC with Internet, Skype and a web cam can
create wonders to keep her family and friends close to her.
I suggest to visit our
Visa & Immigration page
or visit our US-visa-services for more information about visa
& immigration. We have links to many information sites (including official
Governments sites) related to this subject.
During your visit, you must collect any evidence that you have visited
her and her country. Collect all tickets (airplane, train, subway),
bill's, (taxi, restaurants, hotel voucher, anything) and make
copies of your photo's you shoot during your stay. You will need all
this when you both decide to start the K1-fiancee procedure. All US
authorities connected to the k1-fiancee visa procedure, will ask for
it. They need all evidence that you both have indeed a serious
relationship with the purpose to marry each other. So do not throw
away any evidence that you have visited her and that you have been
with her.
