Is it true that it is mostly desperate people that are using Russian
Last week a reporter phoned me and
among many others, asked this question: Is it true that it is mostly
desperate people that are using Russian dating websites?
I often receive
requests for interviews from journalists and this question inevitably pops up.
I am used to
this type of questions and usually I answered them that NO, people using Russian
dating sites are not desperate and they are not losers, as the popular opinion
holds, they are good honest people looking for their true love, etc, etc.
I guess this is
what anybody involved in the Russian dating industry, or using services of a
Russian marriage agency would say. This is probably what the reporter expected
to hear as well. This is what I was ALWAYS saying.
But today, I did
reporter asked me if men and women using Russian dating sites were desperate, I
simply answered: "Yes, they are!!!"
The reporter was
dumb folded. I could hear her struggling to come up with something, mumbling and
rumbling, and I decided to help her out, "Of course they ARE desperate! If
a person wasn't desperate, and could just find the perfect partner next door,
why would they go through all the hurdles of meeting someone from the other end
of the world?"
This idea seemed
to make the reporter think, and she was carefully listening to what I was
"I can tell you I was certainly desperate when I started to look for
somebody abroad. I really wanted to get married and I could not find a suitable
guy at home for many years. This is why I started to look elsewhere. If I had
not struggled for so long to find somebody at home, I would never
start looking abroad! This is what most people do: they are lonely, they want to
meet somebody, and they start looking for this somebody at home. They meet some
people through their mutual acquaintances and friends, and they still cannot
find the right person for them. Then they go to dating services and look there,
or try to meet somebody via Internet. If this also doesn't work out, they may
come across a Russian dating site and try to talk to people there. This is how
it happens. No one wakes up in the morning and decides all of a sudden,
"OK, I know: I am going to marry a Russian woman!" They first seek
somebody closer to home and when they cannot find what they are looking for,
they may come to the idea of broadening their search and looking elsewhere. So,
yes, of course they are desperate - desperate to find the RIGHT
The reporter was
silent for a minute, and then she said, "Well, it makes sense."
Look back at
your own situation, would you go and look for somebody abroad if you could just
find the perfect partner within 5 miles from your home? Surely not!
I would not do
NO ONE WOULD.
This would be just crazy.
So, yes, men and
women using our services ARE desperate. But this is not all: they are not just
desperate, they are desperate enough. And this distinction makes
all the difference.
What do I mean?
Let me explain:
when I said men and women using our service are desperate, I did not mean they
are desperate to the point they would accept anybody. Of course not!
You would not
accept just anybody and I would not, and I can assure you that 25,000 members of
Elena's Models would not do it either. We are looking for somebody
but we are NOT looking for anybody.
Men and women
using our service, they are desperate to find THE RIGHT PERSON; this
is why they decided on such a bizarre way of meeting a life partner. The other
word for that would be "industrious". When you try to find a job and
you cannot find one to your liking, some people may just settle for meager jobs
(very few). Others may accept a bad job but keep looking for a better one. Still
others will keep looking for the good job without compromise.
accepted a meager job would not be "desperate" in common
sense - they may be even considered successful by society as they fit the social
stereotype of stability of having a secure employment. Those are the people who
would not join our service, as it's too much hassle for them. The second and
especially the third type of people are our clients. They are desperate
enough to keep searching for that perfect partner they cannot find
closer to home. Of course I could get married in Russia and I had marriage
offers from Russian guys, but they were not the right guys for me. So I decided
to broaden my search and look besides the borders. I did it because I was
desperate to find the right partner for me and I did not want to settle for
less. When I was looking for somebody abroad, it was the same: I would not jump
on anybody who offered me marriage - I met several foreign men and they weren't
what I wanted, or there was no chemistry, and that was all. But I was desperate
enough to KEEP SEARCHING.
People who are
just "desperate", they sit at home doing nothing or settle for less.
They don't want to go through hurdles of an international relationship. They
decide, to hell with marriage/women/men and just go through their usual
routines. One must be really strong to pull it off. The key is to be "desperate
enough". This is what keeps you going and striving for the better
So, my question
is: Are you desperate enough?
desperate enough to MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE?
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Elena Petrova is
the owner of the dating agency Elena's Models
www.elenasmodels.com and the
author of the popular e-book
"How To Find And Marry A Girl Like Me",
where you can find advice on all topics regarding dating, courting and marrying
Your Dream Woman from Russia.